News Thats Used [dot com]

Thursday, July 27th , Year Unknown

News Thats Used [dot com]
Thursday, July 27th , Year Unknown

I told you I was ill

Sussex, England - 2004

Even in death Irish comic genius Spike Milligan managed to have the last laugh. Two years after his death at his home in Sussex, England, the creator of "The Goon Show" has finally got the epitaph he wanted. A headstone bearing the words "I told you I was ill" has been erected above his grave at St. Thomas's Church in Winchelsea, East Sussex. Sadly for more than two years after his death at the age of 83, the funny man's grave had no gravestone, and was marked only with flowers and a small statue. Problems arose after his family had been unable to agree on a... more

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2,405 (yes Two Thousand Four Hundred and Five) of the best foibles, musings and jokes, articled in 45 Categories, filed from around the world.

Jon & Kate Plus 8 premiers

Pennsylvania - 2007

Following the birth of the sextuplets (6) and already having twins (2), the Gosselins were featured in the reality TV show Home Delivery. The family was then featured in a special on Discovery Health entitled Surviving Sextuplets and Twins. A year later they were featured in another special entitled Sextuplets and Twins: One Year Later. With high ratings from the specials, Discovery Health signed the couple to a reality series, called Jon & Kate Plus 8, which documented their lives. The family received payment for appearing on the show..... more

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Extra! Extra! This just in...

1.   Filed Under: Book Titles  0 stars
Collection Litter by Phil D Basket... more

2.   Filed Under: Book Titles  0 stars
The Hurricane by Rufus Blownoff... more

3.   Filed Under: Internet Jokes  0 stars
Who surfs the Net by pecking at the keyboard? www.oody www.oodpecker.... more

4.   Filed Under: Accountant Jokes  0 stars
A Martian lands to plunder, pillage and burn. He goes up to the owner of the first house he sees and says, "I'm a Martia... more

5.   Filed Under: Bath Jokes  0 stars
Whats the difference between a peeping Tom and someone who's just got out of the bath? One is rude and nosey. The oth... more

Filed Under: A. A. Milne
1882 - 1956

We can't all and some of us don't. That's all there is to it.

More A. A. Milne quotes

Did you Know?

With two forks and a charge, a pickle will emit light.

Forest fires move faster uphill than downhill.

By recycling just one glass bottle, the amount of energy that is being saved is enough to light a 100 watt bulb for four hours.

One percent of Greenland's population lives in a single apartment building!

Phobatrivaphobia is fear of trivia about phobias.

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From the Editor's Desk...

1.   Filed Under: Aviation Jokes  5 stars
Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait,... more

2.   Filed Under: Aviation Jokes  5 stars
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new airplane in th... more

3.   Filed Under: Aviation Jokes  5 stars
A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong mean-looking, hulki... more

4.   Filed Under: Answer Me This  5 stars
What will fall on the lawn first? An autumn leaf or a Christmas catalogue?... more

5.   Filed Under: Did you Know  5 stars
76% of Americans celebrate New Year's Eve in groups of less than 20.... more

Filed Under: Mae West
U.S. Movie Actress
1893 - 1980

Sex is emotion in motion.

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Filed Under: Woody Allen
Director  1935 -

At the opera in Milan with my daughter and me, Needleman leaned out of his box and fell into the orchestra pit. Too proud to admit it was a mistake, he attended the opera every night for a month and repeated it each time.

Book Titles

March Into Battle by Sally Forth

Repairing Old Clothes by Fred Bare

Who Saw Him Go? by Wendy Leeve

Shipwrecked! by Mandy Lifeboats

Losing an Electric Drill by Andy Gadget

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1.   Filed Under: Blind Jokes  0 stars
One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they c... more

2.   Filed Under: Did you Know  0 stars
A person will burn 7 percent more calories if they walk on hard dirt compared to pavement.... more

3.   Filed Under: Did you Know  4 stars
It has often been claimed in popular culture that the slang term for human bodily waste, crap, originated with Thomas Cr... more

4.   Filed Under: Did you Know  4 stars
A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.... more

5.   Filed Under: Did you Know  0 stars
A man named Charles Osborne had the hiccups for 69 years!... more

Filed Under: Steve Allen
American Television Personality  1921 - 2000

Humor is a social lubricant that helps us get over some of the bad spots.