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Thursday, June 22nd , Year Unknown

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227 (yes Two Hundred and Twenty-Seven) of the best famous and not so famous quotes, articled in 14 Categories, filed from around the world.

Filed Under: Woody Allen
Director  1935 -

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.

Filed Under: Zsa Zsa Gabor
US Actress
1919 - 2016

I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.

More Zsa Zsa Gabor quotes

Filed Under: Woody Allen
Director  1935 -

I call that mind free which jealously guards its intellectual rights and powers, which calls no man master, which does not content itself with a passive or hereditary faith, and receives new truth as an angel from Heaven.

Filed Under: Charles Dickens
English Novelist  1812 - 1870

Train up a fig tree in the way it should go, and when you are old sit under the shade of it.

Filed Under: Charles Dickens
English Novelist
1812 - 1870

It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known. A Tale of Two Cities

More Charles Dickens quotes

Filed Under: George Carlin
U.S. Comedian  1937 - 2008

When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

Filed Under: Zsa Zsa Gabor
US Actress  1919 - 2016

Husbands are like fires - they go out when unattended.

Filed Under: George Carlin
U.S. Comedian
1937 - 2008

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

More George Carlin quotes

Filed Under: A. A. Milne
Author
1882 - 1956

If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus 1 day, so I never have to go through a day without you.

More A. A. Milne quotes

Filed Under: Yogi Berra
U.S. Baseball Player  1925 - 2015

If the fans don't wanna come out to the ballpark, no one can stop 'em.

Filed Under: Woody Allen
Director  1935 -

At the opera in Milan with my daughter and me, Needleman leaned out of his box and fell into the orchestra pit. Too proud to admit it was a mistake, he attended the opera every night for a month and repeated it each time.

Filed Under: Dorothy Parker
U.S. Author
1893 - 1967

"Coolidge is dead?" "How could they tell?"

More Dorothy Parker quotes

Filed Under: Erma Bombeck
U.S. Author  1927 - 1996

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Filed Under: A. A. Milne
Author  1882 - 1956

Sing Ho! For the life of a Bear!

Filed Under: George Carlin
U.S. Comedian
1937 - 2008

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

More George Carlin quotes

Filed Under: Erma Bombeck
U.S. Author  1927 - 1996

When humor goes, there goes civilization.

Filed Under: Erma Bombeck
U.S. Author  1927 - 1996

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food.

Filed Under: Dorothy Parker
U.S. Author  1893 - 1967

Every year, back come Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.

Filed Under: Dorothy Parker
U.S. Author
1893 - 1967

A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.

More Dorothy Parker quotes

Filed Under: Yogi Berra
U.S. Baseball Player  1925 - 2015

You guys over there, pair up into groups of three.

Filed Under: Steve Allen
American Television Personality  1921 - 2000

Ours is a government of checks and balances. The Mafia and crooked businessmen make out checks, and the politicians and other compromised officials improve their bank balances.

Filed Under: George Carlin
U.S. Comedian
1937 - 2008

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

More George Carlin quotes

Filed Under: A. A. Milne
Author  1882 - 1956

The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking.

Filed Under: Laertius Diogenes
Biographer  180 AD - 240 AD

All things are in common among friends.