News Thats Used

Saturday February 25, 2017

A good news newspaper called Good News was founded because its American proprietors believed people were tired of reading bad news. The bi-weekly paper refused to publish any bad news and only printed the good news.

After just 16 months in operation the paper closed down. But it stuck to its guns of publishing only good news to the bitter end and refused to announce its own failure - this would ...

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Buttermilk does not contain any butter.

Alexander the Great and Julius Caesar were both epileptic.

All babies are color blind when they are born.

Quips

The Minister unveiled the Church's new donations campaign on Sunday: "I upped my Pledge - Up Yours".

Filed Under: Church Notices

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Filed Under: Church Notices

Sign seen at a Hair Salon: We curl up and dye for you.

Filed Under: Signs

Fun Book Titles

Peek-a-Boo!
- by I. C. Hugh

How to Feed Elephants
- by P. Nutts

All Aboard!
- by Abel Seamann

My Years in a Lunatic Asylum
- by I. M. Nutty

Neck Exercises
- by G. Rarff

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Good Question

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

If a fly has no wings would you call him a walk?

Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

Filed Under: Good Question

World Firsts

John Ames Sherman of Massachusetts, United States, patents the 1st envelope folding and gumming machine.

Tuesday February 8, 1898

Filed Under: → Business & Industry

Astronomical Society of Pacific holds its 1st meeting in San Francisco.

Thursday February 7, 1889

Filed Under: → Science

The first Guernsey Cattle Club organizes in New York City.

Wednesday February 7, 1877

Filed Under: → Business & Industry

Events

The man known as the 'Crocodile Hunter' died after his chest was punctured by a stingray barb while diving off Australia's northeast coast. The 44 year-old colourful personality was filming a documentary about the Great Barrier Reef when tragedy struck.

According to friend and colleague, John Stainton, Steve Irwin swam too close to the ray while he was diving off his boat "Croc One" near Batt Reef, northeast of Port Douglas.

Monday September 4, 2006

Filed Under: → Deaths

Relatives of a 91-year-old Ohio woman who died this week are giving her the last word with a sassy, occasionally profane obituary that starts with the basics, "I was born. I lived. I died.", and instructs people to "Wait the appropriate amount of time" before trying to claim her stuff.

They wrote it in Jean Oddi's perspective, recapping the people important to her, adventures she had and her favorite activities, including playing cards and teaching her granddaughter "dirty songs".

Thursday February 23, 2017

Filed Under: → Deaths

A father and son in Alabama were killed when they crashed into each other in a head-on collision. Jeffrey Morris Brasher and his son Austin Blaine Brasher of Bankston, Alabama, died early Saturday morning.

Jeffrey Brasher was driving a 2006 Ford pickup and his son was driving a 2004 Chevrolet truck when they collided on a highway head-on, said Alabama State Trooper Jonathon Appling.

Saturday February 18, 2017

Filed Under: → Deaths