Yesterday was Friday July 31, 2026
EDITION #1305 This issue 5ยข
This is day 213 of 2026

Did You Know

  • A one ounce milk chocolate bar has 6 mg of caffeine.

  • Another name for a Microsoft Windows 98 tutorial was Crash Course!

  • Before toilet paper was invented, French royalty wiped their bottoms with fine linen.

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  • Another name for a Microsoft Windows 98 tutorial was Crash Course!

  • Crayola is a French word that means Oily chalk.

  • Alexander the Great and Julius Caesar were both epileptic.

Quips

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

Filed Under: Church Notices


Our next song is: "Angels We Have Heard Get High."

Filed Under: Church Notices


At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?".
Come early and listen to the choir practice.

Filed Under: Church Notices


Fun Book Titles

  • How to Feed Elephants
    - by P. Nutts

  • Apologizing Made Simple
    - by Thayer Thorry

  • School Meals
    - by R. E. Volting

  • My Years in a Lunatic Asylum
    - by I. M. Nutty

  • Neck Exercises
    - by G. Rarff

View More: Book Titles

Good Question

  • Can you repeat the part after "Listen very carefully"?

  • Why do you need a drivers license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

  • Do steam rollers really roll steam?

Filed Under: Good Question

World Firsts

  • The first Guernsey Cattle Club organizes in New York City.

    Wednesday February 7, 1877

  • Filed Under: → Business & Industry


  • Bruce McCandless of the United States, makes the 1st untethered space walk.

    Tuesday February 7, 1984

  • Filed Under: → Travel Section


  • The 1st wireless message sent from a moving train to a station is received.

    Sunday February 7, 1915

  • Filed Under: → Travel Section


Events

  • A father and son in Alabama were killed when they crashed into each other in a head-on collision. Jeffrey Morris Brasher and his son Austin Blaine Brasher of Bankston, Alabama, died early Saturday morning.

    Jeffrey Brasher was driving a 2006 Ford pickup and his son was driving a 2004 Chevrolet truck when they collided on a highway head-on, said Alabama State Trooper Jonathon Appling.

    Saturday February 18, 2017

  • Filed Under: → Deaths


  • The man known as the 'Crocodile Hunter' died after his chest was punctured by a stingray barb while diving off Australia's northeast coast. The 44 year-old colourful personality was filming a documentary about the Great Barrier Reef when tragedy struck.

    According to friend and colleague, John Stainton, Steve Irwin swam too close to the ray while he was diving off his boat "Croc One" near Batt Reef, northeast of Port Douglas.

    Monday September 4, 2006

  • Filed Under: → Deaths


  • Relatives of a 91-year-old Ohio woman who died this week are giving her the last word with a sassy, occasionally profane obituary that starts with the basics, "I was born. I lived. I died.", and instructs people to "Wait the appropriate amount of time" before trying to claim her stuff.

    They wrote it in Jean Oddi's perspective, recapping the people important to her, adventures she had and her favorite activities, including playing cards and teaching her granddaughter "dirty songs".

    Thursday February 23, 2017

  • Filed Under: → Deaths


  • Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.
    - African Proverb

  • Listen or thy tongue will keep thee deaf.
    - American Indian Proverb

  • If you refuse to be made straight when you are wet, you will not be made straight when you are dry.
    - African Proverb

World Firsts

  • Aurora Ski Club of Red Wing, Minnesota became the 1st United States Ski Club.

    Tuesday February 8, 1887

  • Filed Under: → Sports


  • 1st meeting of the Provisional Congress of Confederate States of America.

    Wednesday February 6, 1861

  • Filed Under: → Politics


  • The Beatles land at New York's JFK airport, for their 1st United States tour.

    Friday February 7, 1964

  • Filed Under: → Entertainment


View More: → World Firsts

Wise Words

  • When elephants fight, it is the grass who suffers.
    - African Proverb

  • Where there is no shame, there is no honor.
    - African Proverb

  • Until lions have their own historians, tales of the hunt shall always glorify the hunter.
    - African Proverb

Filed Under: Wise Words

Good Question

  • Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

  • If buttered toast always lands buttered side down and a cat always lands on its feet, what would happen if you tied a piece of buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped them both?

  • Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Filed Under: → Good Question