Yesterday was Monday March 9, 2026
EDITION #1305 This issue 5ยข
This is day 69 of 2026

Did You Know

  • About twenty-five percent of the population will sneeze when they are exposed to light.

  • A person infected with the SARS virus has a 95% - 98% chance of recovery.

  • During World War II, Uncle Bens was the exclusive supplier of rice to the U.S. Armed Forces.

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  • A volcano has enough power to shoot ash as high as 50 km into the atmosphere.

  • Another name for a Microsoft Windows 98 tutorial was Crash Course!

  • About twenty-five percent of the population will sneeze when they are exposed to light.

Quips

The Minister unveiled the Church's new donations campaign on Sunday: "I upped my Pledge - Up Yours".

Filed Under: Church Notices


Sign seen in a bar: "Those drinking to forget, please pay in advance."

Filed Under: Signs


The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning, to join the Choir.

Filed Under: Church Notices


Fun Book Titles

  • My Years in a Lunatic Asylum
    - by I. M. Nutty

  • The Barber of Seville
    - by Aaron Floor

  • All Aboard!
    - by Abel Seamann

  • Peek-a-Boo!
    - by I. C. Hugh

  • How to Feed Elephants
    - by P. Nutts

View More: Book Titles

Good Question

  • What will fall on the lawn first? An autumn leaf or a Christmas catalogue?

  • Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?

  • If buttered toast always lands buttered side down and a cat always lands on its feet, what would happen if you tied a piece of buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped them both?

Filed Under: Good Question

World Firsts

  • The United States swears in its 1st female Secretary of Transportation, namely Elizabeth Dole.

    Monday February 7, 1983

  • Filed Under: → Travel Section


  • Bruce McCandless of the United States, makes the 1st untethered space walk.

    Tuesday February 7, 1984

  • Filed Under: → Travel Section


  • "Stars & Stripes Weekly", the United States Armed Forces newspaper is first published.

    Friday February 8, 1918

  • Filed Under: → War


Events

  • Relatives of a 91-year-old Ohio woman who died this week are giving her the last word with a sassy, occasionally profane obituary that starts with the basics, "I was born. I lived. I died.", and instructs people to "Wait the appropriate amount of time" before trying to claim her stuff.

    They wrote it in Jean Oddi's perspective, recapping the people important to her, adventures she had and her favorite activities, including playing cards and teaching her granddaughter "dirty songs".

    Thursday February 23, 2017

  • Filed Under: → Deaths


  • A father and son in Alabama were killed when they crashed into each other in a head-on collision. Jeffrey Morris Brasher and his son Austin Blaine Brasher of Bankston, Alabama, died early Saturday morning.

    Jeffrey Brasher was driving a 2006 Ford pickup and his son was driving a 2004 Chevrolet truck when they collided on a highway head-on, said Alabama State Trooper Jonathon Appling.

    Saturday February 18, 2017

  • Filed Under: → Deaths


  • The man known as the 'Crocodile Hunter' died after his chest was punctured by a stingray barb while diving off Australia's northeast coast. The 44 year-old colourful personality was filming a documentary about the Great Barrier Reef when tragedy struck.

    According to friend and colleague, John Stainton, Steve Irwin swam too close to the ray while he was diving off his boat "Croc One" near Batt Reef, northeast of Port Douglas.

    Monday September 4, 2006

  • Filed Under: → Deaths


  • Indecision is like a stepchild. If he does not wash his hands, he is called dirty, if he does, he is wasting water.
    - African Proverb

  • If you refuse to be made straight when you are wet, you will not be made straight when you are dry.
    - African Proverb

  • Not to know is bad, not to wish to know is worse.
    - African Proverb

World Firsts

  • The first Guernsey Cattle Club organizes in New York City.

    Wednesday February 7, 1877

  • Filed Under: → Business & Industry


  • The 1st indoor 15' pole vault, completed by Cornelius Warmerdam, achieving 15 feet 3/8 inches.

    Saturday February 7, 1942

  • Filed Under: → Sports


  • The 1st successful United States educational magazine "Academician", starts publishing in New York City.

    Saturday February 7, 1818

  • Filed Under: → Education


View More: → World Firsts

Wise Words

  • When you have given nothing, ask for nothing.
    - Albanian Proverb

  • Where there is no shame, there is no honor.
    - African Proverb

  • Until lions have their own historians, tales of the hunt shall always glorify the hunter.
    - African Proverb

Filed Under: Wise Words

Good Question

  • Can you repeat the part after "Listen very carefully"?

  • What will fall on the lawn first? An autumn leaf or a Christmas catalogue?

  • Everyone wants to ride with you in the limo. How come nobody will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down?

Filed Under: → Good Question