Yesterday was Monday August 31, 2026
EDITION #1305 This issue 5ยข
This is day 244 of 2026

Did You Know

  • An earthquake on December 16, 1811 caused parts of the Mississippi River to flow backwards.

  • Airports that are at higher altitudes require a longer airstrip due to lower air density.

  • Albert Einstein was offered the presidency of Israel in 1952, but he declined.

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  • Each year there are more than 40,000 toilet related injuries in the United States.

  • Another name for a Microsoft Windows 98 tutorial was Crash Course!

  • About twenty-five percent of the population will sneeze when they are exposed to light.

Quips

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

Filed Under: Church Notices


Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and the deterioration of some of the older ones.

Filed Under: Church Notices


The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning, to join the Choir.

Filed Under: Church Notices


Fun Book Titles

  • Peek-a-Boo!
    - by I. C. Hugh

  • Falling from a Window
    - by Eileen Dowt

  • How to Feed Elephants
    - by P. Nutts

  • School Meals
    - by R. E. Volting

  • My Years in a Lunatic Asylum
    - by I. M. Nutty

View More: Book Titles

Good Question

  • How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

  • What will fall on the lawn first? An autumn leaf or a Christmas catalogue?

  • When a doctor doctors a doctor does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as the doctor being doctored wants to be doctored, or does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as he wants to doctor?

Filed Under: Good Question

World Firsts

  • Jean-Bertrand Aristide is sworn in as Haiti's 1st elected President.

    Thursday February 7, 1991

  • Filed Under: → Politics


  • Richard Johnson is the 1st Vice President chosen by the United States Senate. It happened during the Van Buren administration.

    Wednesday February 8, 1837

  • Filed Under: → Politics


  • France recognizes the United States of America and signs a treaty of aid in Paris; it's the 1st U.S. treaty.

    Friday February 6, 1778

  • Filed Under: → War


Events

  • Relatives of a 91-year-old Ohio woman who died this week are giving her the last word with a sassy, occasionally profane obituary that starts with the basics, "I was born. I lived. I died.", and instructs people to "Wait the appropriate amount of time" before trying to claim her stuff.

    They wrote it in Jean Oddi's perspective, recapping the people important to her, adventures she had and her favorite activities, including playing cards and teaching her granddaughter "dirty songs".

    Thursday February 23, 2017

  • Filed Under: → Deaths


  • A father and son in Alabama were killed when they crashed into each other in a head-on collision. Jeffrey Morris Brasher and his son Austin Blaine Brasher of Bankston, Alabama, died early Saturday morning.

    Jeffrey Brasher was driving a 2006 Ford pickup and his son was driving a 2004 Chevrolet truck when they collided on a highway head-on, said Alabama State Trooper Jonathon Appling.

    Saturday February 18, 2017

  • Filed Under: → Deaths


  • The man known as the 'Crocodile Hunter' died after his chest was punctured by a stingray barb while diving off Australia's northeast coast. The 44 year-old colourful personality was filming a documentary about the Great Barrier Reef when tragedy struck.

    According to friend and colleague, John Stainton, Steve Irwin swam too close to the ray while he was diving off his boat "Croc One" near Batt Reef, northeast of Port Douglas.

    Monday September 4, 2006

  • Filed Under: → Deaths


  • When elephants fight, it is the grass who suffers.
    - African Proverb

  • Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.
    - African Proverb

  • When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.
    - African Proverb

World Firsts

  • The 1st solo England to Australia flight takes off piloted by Bert Hinkler.

    Tuesday February 7, 1928

  • Filed Under: → Travel Section


  • Joe DiMaggio becomes the 1st $100,000 a year baseball player. He plays for the New York Yankees.

    Monday February 7, 1949

  • Filed Under: → Sports


  • Astronomical Society of Pacific holds its 1st meeting in San Francisco.

    Thursday February 7, 1889

  • Filed Under: → Science


View More: → World Firsts

Wise Words

  • Listen or thy tongue will keep thee deaf.
    - American Indian Proverb

  • Where there is no shame, there is no honor.
    - African Proverb

  • Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.
    - African Proverb

Filed Under: Wise Words

Good Question

  • Everyone wants to ride with you in the limo. How come nobody will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down?

  • Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

  • Does killing time damage eternity?

Filed Under: → Good Question