Yesterday was Monday August 31, 2026
EDITION #1305 This issue 5ยข
This is day 244 of 2026

Did You Know

  • Crayola is a French word that means Oily chalk.

  • Another name for a Microsoft Windows 98 tutorial was Crash Course!

  • Buttermilk does not contain any butter.

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  • Each year there are more than 40,000 toilet related injuries in the United States.

  • Canada is an Indian word meaning Big Village.

  • A one ounce milk chocolate bar has 6 mg of caffeine.

Quips

The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.

Filed Under: Church Notices


This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

Filed Under: Church Notices


Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and the deterioration of some of the older ones.

Filed Under: Church Notices


Fun Book Titles

  • Neck Exercises
    - by G. Rarff

  • Apologizing Made Simple
    - by Thayer Thorry

  • All Aboard!
    - by Abel Seamann

  • The Barber of Seville
    - by Aaron Floor

  • My Years in a Lunatic Asylum
    - by I. M. Nutty

View More: Book Titles

Good Question

  • If love is blind, why is Lingerie so popular?

  • Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

  • If buttered toast always lands buttered side down and a cat always lands on its feet, what would happen if you tied a piece of buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped them both?

Filed Under: Good Question

World Firsts

  • "Monopoly" the board game goes on sale for the 1st time.

    Wednesday February 6, 1935

  • Filed Under: → Business & Industry


  • The first Guernsey Cattle Club organizes in New York City.

    Wednesday February 7, 1877

  • Filed Under: → Business & Industry


  • Richard Johnson is the 1st Vice President chosen by the United States Senate. It happened during the Van Buren administration.

    Wednesday February 8, 1837

  • Filed Under: → Politics


Events

  • Relatives of a 91-year-old Ohio woman who died this week are giving her the last word with a sassy, occasionally profane obituary that starts with the basics, "I was born. I lived. I died.", and instructs people to "Wait the appropriate amount of time" before trying to claim her stuff.

    They wrote it in Jean Oddi's perspective, recapping the people important to her, adventures she had and her favorite activities, including playing cards and teaching her granddaughter "dirty songs".

    Thursday February 23, 2017

  • Filed Under: → Deaths


  • A father and son in Alabama were killed when they crashed into each other in a head-on collision. Jeffrey Morris Brasher and his son Austin Blaine Brasher of Bankston, Alabama, died early Saturday morning.

    Jeffrey Brasher was driving a 2006 Ford pickup and his son was driving a 2004 Chevrolet truck when they collided on a highway head-on, said Alabama State Trooper Jonathon Appling.

    Saturday February 18, 2017

  • Filed Under: → Deaths


  • The man known as the 'Crocodile Hunter' died after his chest was punctured by a stingray barb while diving off Australia's northeast coast. The 44 year-old colourful personality was filming a documentary about the Great Barrier Reef when tragedy struck.

    According to friend and colleague, John Stainton, Steve Irwin swam too close to the ray while he was diving off his boat "Croc One" near Batt Reef, northeast of Port Douglas.

    Monday September 4, 2006

  • Filed Under: → Deaths


  • When elephants fight, it is the grass who suffers.
    - African Proverb

  • Indecision is like a stepchild. If he does not wash his hands, he is called dirty, if he does, he is wasting water.
    - African Proverb

  • When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.
    - African Proverb

World Firsts

  • Joe DiMaggio becomes the 1st $100,000 a year baseball player. He plays for the New York Yankees.

    Monday February 7, 1949

  • Filed Under: → Sports


  • Aurora Ski Club of Red Wing, Minnesota became the 1st United States Ski Club.

    Tuesday February 8, 1887

  • Filed Under: → Sports


  • The 1st solo England to Australia flight takes off piloted by Bert Hinkler.

    Tuesday February 7, 1928

  • Filed Under: → Travel Section


View More: → World Firsts

Wise Words

  • Until lions have their own historians, tales of the hunt shall always glorify the hunter.
    - African Proverb

  • Where there is no shame, there is no honor.
    - African Proverb

  • When you have given nothing, ask for nothing.
    - Albanian Proverb

Filed Under: Wise Words

Good Question

  • You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

  • Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

  • Why do you need a drivers license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

Filed Under: → Good Question