Yesterday was Sunday August 9, 2026
EDITION #1305 This issue 5ยข
This is day 222 of 2026

Did You Know

  • Alexander the Great and Julius Caesar were both epileptic.

  • Albert Einstein was offered the presidency of Israel in 1952, but he declined.

  • Buttermilk does not contain any butter.

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  • A volcano has enough power to shoot ash as high as 50 km into the atmosphere.

  • Before toilet paper was invented, French royalty wiped their bottoms with fine linen.

  • Alexander the Great and Julius Caesar were both epileptic.

Quips

The Vicar is on vacation. Massages can be given to the Church Secretary.

Filed Under: Church Notices


This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

Filed Under: Church Notices


The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.

Filed Under: Church Notices


Fun Book Titles

  • Peek-a-Boo!
    - by I. C. Hugh

  • All Aboard!
    - by Abel Seamann

  • How to Feed Elephants
    - by P. Nutts

  • My Years in a Lunatic Asylum
    - by I. M. Nutty

  • Neck Exercises
    - by G. Rarff

View More: Book Titles

Good Question

  • If fire fighters fight fire and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters fight?

  • You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes. Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same material?

  • Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Filed Under: Good Question

World Firsts

  • The 1st solo England to Australia flight takes off piloted by Bert Hinkler.

    Tuesday February 7, 1928

  • Filed Under: → Travel Section


  • France recognizes the United States of America and signs a treaty of aid in Paris; it's the 1st U.S. treaty.

    Friday February 6, 1778

  • Filed Under: → War


  • Autherine Lucy, the 1st black student admitted to University of Alabama, is expelled.

    Tuesday February 7, 1956

  • Filed Under: → Education


Events

  • A father and son in Alabama were killed when they crashed into each other in a head-on collision. Jeffrey Morris Brasher and his son Austin Blaine Brasher of Bankston, Alabama, died early Saturday morning.

    Jeffrey Brasher was driving a 2006 Ford pickup and his son was driving a 2004 Chevrolet truck when they collided on a highway head-on, said Alabama State Trooper Jonathon Appling.

    Saturday February 18, 2017

  • Filed Under: → Deaths


  • Relatives of a 91-year-old Ohio woman who died this week are giving her the last word with a sassy, occasionally profane obituary that starts with the basics, "I was born. I lived. I died.", and instructs people to "Wait the appropriate amount of time" before trying to claim her stuff.

    They wrote it in Jean Oddi's perspective, recapping the people important to her, adventures she had and her favorite activities, including playing cards and teaching her granddaughter "dirty songs".

    Thursday February 23, 2017

  • Filed Under: → Deaths


  • The man known as the 'Crocodile Hunter' died after his chest was punctured by a stingray barb while diving off Australia's northeast coast. The 44 year-old colourful personality was filming a documentary about the Great Barrier Reef when tragedy struck.

    According to friend and colleague, John Stainton, Steve Irwin swam too close to the ray while he was diving off his boat "Croc One" near Batt Reef, northeast of Port Douglas.

    Monday September 4, 2006

  • Filed Under: → Deaths


  • If you refuse to be made straight when you are wet, you will not be made straight when you are dry.
    - African Proverb

  • Indecision is like a stepchild. If he does not wash his hands, he is called dirty, if he does, he is wasting water.
    - African Proverb

  • When you have given nothing, ask for nothing.
    - Albanian Proverb

World Firsts

  • The 1st indoor 15' pole vault, completed by Cornelius Warmerdam, achieving 15 feet 3/8 inches.

    Saturday February 7, 1942

  • Filed Under: → Sports


  • New Jersey issues its 1st U.S. railroad charter. The proprietors included the famous inventor John Stevens.

    Monday February 6, 1815

  • Filed Under: → Travel Section


  • Joe DiMaggio becomes the 1st $100,000 a year baseball player. He plays for the New York Yankees.

    Monday February 7, 1949

  • Filed Under: → Sports


View More: → World Firsts

Wise Words

  • Until lions have their own historians, tales of the hunt shall always glorify the hunter.
    - African Proverb

  • When elephants fight, it is the grass who suffers.
    - African Proverb

  • Indecision is like a stepchild. If he does not wash his hands, he is called dirty, if he does, he is wasting water.
    - African Proverb

Filed Under: Wise Words

Good Question

  • Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

  • You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

  • How long will a floating point operation float?

Filed Under: → Good Question