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EDITION #1305 This issue 5ยข
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Spike Milligan Has The Last Laugh

Used News Deaths

Tuesday May 25, 2004

Even in death Irish comic genius Spike Milligan managed to have the last laugh. Two years after his death at his home in Sussex, England, the creator of "The Goon Show" has finally got the epitaph he wanted.

A headstone bearing the words "I told you I was ill" has been erected above his grave at St. Thomas's Church in Winchelsea, East Sussex. Sadly for more than two years after his death at the ...

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Did You Know

  • Albert Einstein was offered the presidency of Israel in 1952, but he declined.

  • During World War II, Uncle Bens was the exclusive supplier of rice to the U.S. Armed Forces.

  • All babies are color blind when they are born.

View More...

Latest Posts

Friday February 3, 2017

According to a hospital in Spain, a woman gave birth to twins at the age of 64. A News release from Hospital Recoletas Burgos, a hospital in Burgos, Spain, the sexagenarian gave birth via C-section to a boy and a girl, and all three patients are in perfect health.

The woman, who is being identified by her initials, had undergone IVF treatment in the United States before returning to Spain.

R ...

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Monday September 15, 2003

After eating an English missionary in 1867, contrite villagers in Fiji are now eating humble pie and want to say they are sorry. Reverend Thomas Baker, from Playden, East Sussex, was cooked and eaten by the people of the remote mountain village of Navatusila.

The only thing left of Mr. Baker, a clergyman with the Wesleyan Methodist Church, were his leather boots, and they even attempted to chew ...

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  • Canada is an Indian word meaning Big Village.

  • Before toilet paper was invented, French royalty wiped their bottoms with fine linen.

  • Each year there are more than 40,000 toilet related injuries in the United States.

Quips

The Minister unveiled the Church's new donations campaign on Sunday: "I upped my Pledge - Up Yours".

Filed Under: Church Notices


Sign seen in a bar: "Those drinking to forget, please pay in advance."

Filed Under: Signs


Thursday night is Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

Filed Under: Church Notices


Fun Book Titles

  • My Years in a Lunatic Asylum
    - by I. M. Nutty

  • Falling from a Window
    - by Eileen Dowt

  • All Aboard!
    - by Abel Seamann

  • How to Feed Elephants
    - by P. Nutts

  • School Meals
    - by R. E. Volting

View More: Book Titles

Good Question

  • If CON is the opposite of PRO, is congress the opposite of progress?

  • Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

  • How long will a floating point operation float?

Filed Under: Good Question

World Firsts

  • The Beatles land at New York's JFK airport, for their 1st United States tour.

    Friday February 7, 1964

  • Filed Under: → Entertainment


  • The 1st wireless message sent from a moving train to a station is received.

    Sunday February 7, 1915

  • Filed Under: → Travel Section


  • John Ames Sherman of Massachusetts, United States, patents the 1st envelope folding and gumming machine.

    Tuesday February 8, 1898

  • Filed Under: → Business & Industry


Events

  • The man known as the 'Crocodile Hunter' died after his chest was punctured by a stingray barb while diving off Australia's northeast coast. The 44 year-old colourful personality was filming a documentary about the Great Barrier Reef when tragedy struck.

    According to friend and colleague, John Stainton, Steve Irwin swam too close to the ray while he was diving off his boat "Croc One" near Batt Reef, northeast of Port Douglas.

    Monday September 4, 2006

  • Filed Under: → Deaths


  • Relatives of a 91-year-old Ohio woman who died this week are giving her the last word with a sassy, occasionally profane obituary that starts with the basics, "I was born. I lived. I died.", and instructs people to "Wait the appropriate amount of time" before trying to claim her stuff.

    They wrote it in Jean Oddi's perspective, recapping the people important to her, adventures she had and her favorite activities, including playing cards and teaching her granddaughter "dirty songs".

    Thursday February 23, 2017

  • Filed Under: → Deaths


  • A father and son in Alabama were killed when they crashed into each other in a head-on collision. Jeffrey Morris Brasher and his son Austin Blaine Brasher of Bankston, Alabama, died early Saturday morning.

    Jeffrey Brasher was driving a 2006 Ford pickup and his son was driving a 2004 Chevrolet truck when they collided on a highway head-on, said Alabama State Trooper Jonathon Appling.

    Saturday February 18, 2017

  • Filed Under: → Deaths


  • Indecision is like a stepchild. If he does not wash his hands, he is called dirty, if he does, he is wasting water.
    - African Proverb

  • Listen or thy tongue will keep thee deaf.
    - American Indian Proverb

  • Not to know is bad, not to wish to know is worse.
    - African Proverb

World Firsts

  • The 1st wireless message sent from a moving train to a station is received.

    Sunday February 7, 1915

  • Filed Under: → Travel Section


  • The 1st solo England to Australia flight takes off piloted by Bert Hinkler.

    Tuesday February 7, 1928

  • Filed Under: → Travel Section


  • The 1st recorded race meet in England happens at Roodee Fields, Chester.

    Friday February 9, 1540

  • Filed Under: → Sports


View More: → World Firsts

Wise Words

  • Listen or thy tongue will keep thee deaf.
    - American Indian Proverb

  • When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.
    - African Proverb

  • When you have given nothing, ask for nothing.
    - Albanian Proverb

Filed Under: Wise Words

Good Question

  • What will fall on the lawn first? An autumn leaf or a Christmas catalogue?

  • How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

  • Why do you need a drivers license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

Filed Under: → Good Question