Yesterday was Monday August 31, 2026
EDITION #1305 This issue 5ยข
This is day 244 of 2026

Did You Know

  • A dime has 118 ridges around the edge, a quarter has 119.

  • Another name for a Microsoft Windows 98 tutorial was Crash Course!

  • A one ounce milk chocolate bar has 6 mg of caffeine.

View More...
  • A volcano has enough power to shoot ash as high as 50 km into the atmosphere.

  • Each year there are more than 40,000 toilet related injuries in the United States.

  • A one ounce milk chocolate bar has 6 mg of caffeine.

Quips

The Vicar is on vacation. Massages can be given to the Church Secretary.

Filed Under: Church Notices


Sign seen in a bar: "Those drinking to forget, please pay in advance."

Filed Under: Signs


The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning, to join the Choir.

Filed Under: Church Notices


Fun Book Titles

  • All Aboard!
    - by Abel Seamann

  • My Years in a Lunatic Asylum
    - by I. M. Nutty

  • The Barber of Seville
    - by Aaron Floor

  • How to Feed Elephants
    - by P. Nutts

  • Neck Exercises
    - by G. Rarff

View More: Book Titles

Good Question

  • Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

  • How come wrong numbers are never busy?

  • How long will a floating point operation float?

Filed Under: Good Question

World Firsts

  • Astronomical Society of Pacific holds its 1st meeting in San Francisco.

    Thursday February 7, 1889

  • Filed Under: → Science


  • The 1st appearance of cholera happens in Edinburgh, Scotland.

    Monday February 6, 1832

  • Filed Under: → Medicine


  • Joe DiMaggio becomes the 1st $100,000 a year baseball player. He plays for the New York Yankees.

    Monday February 7, 1949

  • Filed Under: → Sports


Events

  • Relatives of a 91-year-old Ohio woman who died this week are giving her the last word with a sassy, occasionally profane obituary that starts with the basics, "I was born. I lived. I died.", and instructs people to "Wait the appropriate amount of time" before trying to claim her stuff.

    They wrote it in Jean Oddi's perspective, recapping the people important to her, adventures she had and her favorite activities, including playing cards and teaching her granddaughter "dirty songs".

    Thursday February 23, 2017

  • Filed Under: → Deaths


  • A father and son in Alabama were killed when they crashed into each other in a head-on collision. Jeffrey Morris Brasher and his son Austin Blaine Brasher of Bankston, Alabama, died early Saturday morning.

    Jeffrey Brasher was driving a 2006 Ford pickup and his son was driving a 2004 Chevrolet truck when they collided on a highway head-on, said Alabama State Trooper Jonathon Appling.

    Saturday February 18, 2017

  • Filed Under: → Deaths


  • The man known as the 'Crocodile Hunter' died after his chest was punctured by a stingray barb while diving off Australia's northeast coast. The 44 year-old colourful personality was filming a documentary about the Great Barrier Reef when tragedy struck.

    According to friend and colleague, John Stainton, Steve Irwin swam too close to the ray while he was diving off his boat "Croc One" near Batt Reef, northeast of Port Douglas.

    Monday September 4, 2006

  • Filed Under: → Deaths


  • When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.
    - African Proverb

  • Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.
    - African Proverb

  • If you refuse to be made straight when you are wet, you will not be made straight when you are dry.
    - African Proverb

World Firsts

  • Astronomical Society of Pacific holds its 1st meeting in San Francisco.

    Thursday February 7, 1889

  • Filed Under: → Science


  • The first Guernsey Cattle Club organizes in New York City.

    Wednesday February 7, 1877

  • Filed Under: → Business & Industry


  • The 1st solo England to Australia flight takes off piloted by Bert Hinkler.

    Tuesday February 7, 1928

  • Filed Under: → Travel Section


View More: → World Firsts

Wise Words

  • It takes a village to raise a child.
    - African Proverb

  • Indecision is like a stepchild. If he does not wash his hands, he is called dirty, if he does, he is wasting water.
    - African Proverb

  • When you have given nothing, ask for nothing.
    - Albanian Proverb

Filed Under: Wise Words

Good Question

  • Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?

  • How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

  • What will fall on the lawn first? An autumn leaf or a Christmas catalogue?

Filed Under: → Good Question