News Thats Used

Saturday February 25, 2017

A good news newspaper called Good News was founded because its American proprietors believed people were tired of reading bad news. The bi-weekly paper refused to publish any bad news and only printed the good news.

After just 16 months in operation the paper closed down. But it stuck to its guns of publishing only good news to the bitter end and refused to announce its own failure - this would ...

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Before toilet paper was invented, French royalty wiped their bottoms with fine linen.

Crayola is a French word that means Oily chalk.

Another name for a Microsoft Windows 98 tutorial was Crash Course!

Quips

Thursday night is Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

Filed Under: Church Notices

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?".
Come early and listen to the choir practice.

Filed Under: Church Notices

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Filed Under: Church Notices

Fun Book Titles

All Aboard!
- by Abel Seamann

My Years in a Lunatic Asylum
- by I. M. Nutty

Apologizing Made Simple
- by Thayer Thorry

How to Feed Elephants
- by P. Nutts

Falling from a Window
- by Eileen Dowt

View More: Book Titles

Good Question

When a doctor doctors a doctor does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as the doctor being doctored wants to be doctored, or does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as he wants to doctor?

If CON is the opposite of PRO, is congress the opposite of progress?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes. Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same material?

Filed Under: Good Question

World Firsts

The 1st appearance of cholera happens in Edinburgh, Scotland.

Monday February 6, 1832

Filed Under: → Medicine

The 1st recorded race meet in England happens at Roodee Fields, Chester.

Friday February 9, 1540

Filed Under: → Sports

The Beatles land at New York's JFK airport, for their 1st United States tour.

Friday February 7, 1964

Filed Under: → Entertainment

Events

The man known as the 'Crocodile Hunter' died after his chest was punctured by a stingray barb while diving off Australia's northeast coast. The 44 year-old colourful personality was filming a documentary about the Great Barrier Reef when tragedy struck.

According to friend and colleague, John Stainton, Steve Irwin swam too close to the ray while he was diving off his boat "Croc One" near Batt Reef, northeast of Port Douglas.

Monday September 4, 2006

Filed Under: → Deaths

A father and son in Alabama were killed when they crashed into each other in a head-on collision. Jeffrey Morris Brasher and his son Austin Blaine Brasher of Bankston, Alabama, died early Saturday morning.

Jeffrey Brasher was driving a 2006 Ford pickup and his son was driving a 2004 Chevrolet truck when they collided on a highway head-on, said Alabama State Trooper Jonathon Appling.

Saturday February 18, 2017

Filed Under: → Deaths

Relatives of a 91-year-old Ohio woman who died this week are giving her the last word with a sassy, occasionally profane obituary that starts with the basics, "I was born. I lived. I died.", and instructs people to "Wait the appropriate amount of time" before trying to claim her stuff.

They wrote it in Jean Oddi's perspective, recapping the people important to her, adventures she had and her favorite activities, including playing cards and teaching her granddaughter "dirty songs".

Thursday February 23, 2017

Filed Under: → Deaths

It takes a village to raise a child.
- African Proverb

Listen or thy tongue will keep thee deaf.
- American Indian Proverb

If you refuse to be made straight when you are wet, you will not be made straight when you are dry.
- African Proverb

New Used News

25,000 Workers Died Building The Panama Canal
Filed Under: Did you Know → Did you Know

The Most Expensive Domain Name
Filed Under: Did you Know → Did you Know

Microsoft Windows 98
Filed Under: Did you Know → Did you Know

Backward Flowing River
Filed Under: Did you Know → Did you Know

Copy Desk

World Firsts

Joe DiMaggio becomes the 1st $100,000 a year baseball player. He plays for the New York Yankees.

Monday February 7, 1949

Filed Under: → Sports

New Jersey issues its 1st U.S. railroad charter. The proprietors included the famous inventor John Stevens.

Monday February 6, 1815

Filed Under: → Travel Section

Edward of Caernarion, later Edward II, becomes the 1st Prince of Wales.

Monday February 7, 1301

Filed Under: → Miscellaneous

View More: → World Firsts

Wise Words

When the mouth stumbles, it is worse than the foot.
- African Proverb

Until lions have their own historians, tales of the hunt shall always glorify the hunter.
- African Proverb

Indecision is like a stepchild. If he does not wash his hands, he is called dirty, if he does, he is wasting water.
- African Proverb

Filed Under: Wise Words

Good Question

Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

If a fly has no wings would you call him a walk?

Do steam rollers really roll steam?

Filed Under: → Good Question

Category

Villagers Apologize For Eating Missionary

Did You Know

Quips

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Newspaper Called Good News Closes

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Newspaper Called Good News Closes

Did You Know

Quips

Fun Book Titles

Good Question

World Firsts

Events

Wise Words

New Used News

Copy Desk

World Firsts

Wise Words

Good Question