Yesterday was Monday August 31, 2026
EDITION #1305 This issue 5ยข
This is day 244 of 2026

Did You Know

  • Each year there are more than 40,000 toilet related injuries in the United States.

  • Another name for a Microsoft Windows 98 tutorial was Crash Course!

  • A one ounce milk chocolate bar has 6 mg of caffeine.

View More...
  • During World War II, Uncle Bens was the exclusive supplier of rice to the U.S. Armed Forces.

  • A person infected with the SARS virus has a 95% - 98% chance of recovery.

  • A one ounce milk chocolate bar has 6 mg of caffeine.

Quips

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

Filed Under: Church Notices


Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and the deterioration of some of the older ones.

Filed Under: Church Notices


The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning, to join the Choir.

Filed Under: Church Notices


Fun Book Titles

  • How to Feed Elephants
    - by P. Nutts

  • My Years in a Lunatic Asylum
    - by I. M. Nutty

  • All Aboard!
    - by Abel Seamann

  • Apologizing Made Simple
    - by Thayer Thorry

  • Peek-a-Boo!
    - by I. C. Hugh

View More: Book Titles

Good Question

  • Can you repeat the part after "Listen very carefully"?

  • If buttered toast always lands buttered side down and a cat always lands on its feet, what would happen if you tied a piece of buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped them both?

  • How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

Filed Under: Good Question

World Firsts

  • John Ames Sherman of Massachusetts, United States, patents the 1st envelope folding and gumming machine.

    Tuesday February 8, 1898

  • Filed Under: → Business & Industry


  • The 1st solo England to Australia flight takes off piloted by Bert Hinkler.

    Tuesday February 7, 1928

  • Filed Under: → Travel Section


  • "Stars & Stripes Weekly", the United States Armed Forces newspaper is first published.

    Friday February 8, 1918

  • Filed Under: → War


Events

  • Relatives of a 91-year-old Ohio woman who died this week are giving her the last word with a sassy, occasionally profane obituary that starts with the basics, "I was born. I lived. I died.", and instructs people to "Wait the appropriate amount of time" before trying to claim her stuff.

    They wrote it in Jean Oddi's perspective, recapping the people important to her, adventures she had and her favorite activities, including playing cards and teaching her granddaughter "dirty songs".

    Thursday February 23, 2017

  • Filed Under: → Deaths


  • A father and son in Alabama were killed when they crashed into each other in a head-on collision. Jeffrey Morris Brasher and his son Austin Blaine Brasher of Bankston, Alabama, died early Saturday morning.

    Jeffrey Brasher was driving a 2006 Ford pickup and his son was driving a 2004 Chevrolet truck when they collided on a highway head-on, said Alabama State Trooper Jonathon Appling.

    Saturday February 18, 2017

  • Filed Under: → Deaths


  • The man known as the 'Crocodile Hunter' died after his chest was punctured by a stingray barb while diving off Australia's northeast coast. The 44 year-old colourful personality was filming a documentary about the Great Barrier Reef when tragedy struck.

    According to friend and colleague, John Stainton, Steve Irwin swam too close to the ray while he was diving off his boat "Croc One" near Batt Reef, northeast of Port Douglas.

    Monday September 4, 2006

  • Filed Under: → Deaths


  • Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.
    - African Proverb

  • When the mouth stumbles, it is worse than the foot.
    - African Proverb

  • Listen or thy tongue will keep thee deaf.
    - American Indian Proverb

World Firsts

  • The 1st recorded race meet in England happens at Roodee Fields, Chester.

    Friday February 9, 1540

  • Filed Under: → Sports


  • The 1st appearance of cholera happens in Edinburgh, Scotland.

    Monday February 6, 1832

  • Filed Under: → Medicine


  • France recognizes the United States of America and signs a treaty of aid in Paris; it's the 1st U.S. treaty.

    Friday February 6, 1778

  • Filed Under: → War


View More: → World Firsts

Wise Words

  • When the mouth stumbles, it is worse than the foot.
    - African Proverb

  • Not to know is bad, not to wish to know is worse.
    - African Proverb

  • Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.
    - African Proverb

Filed Under: Wise Words

Good Question

  • You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes. Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same material?

  • Why does an inspiring sight like a sunrise always have to take place at such an inconvenient time?

  • If love is blind, why is Lingerie so popular?

Filed Under: → Good Question