News Thats Used

Tuesday May 25, 2004

Even in death Irish comic genius Spike Milligan managed to have the last laugh. Two years after his death at his home in Sussex, England, the creator of "The Goon Show" has finally got the epitaph he wanted.

A headstone bearing the words "I told you I was ill" has been erected above his grave at St. Thomas's Church in Winchelsea, East Sussex. Sadly for more than two years after his death at the ...

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Alexander the Great and Julius Caesar were both epileptic.

A one ounce milk chocolate bar has 6 mg of caffeine.

A person infected with the SARS virus has a 95% - 98% chance of recovery.

Quips

Sign seen in a bar: "Those drinking to forget, please pay in advance."

Filed Under: Signs

The Vicar is on vacation. Massages can be given to the Church Secretary.

Filed Under: Church Notices

Weight Watchers will meet at 7.30 pm at the Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double doors at the side entrance.

Filed Under: Church Notices

Fun Book Titles

Peek-a-Boo!
- by I. C. Hugh

Apologizing Made Simple
- by Thayer Thorry

How to Feed Elephants
- by P. Nutts

Falling from a Window
- by Eileen Dowt

My Years in a Lunatic Asylum
- by I. M. Nutty

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Good Question

How long will a floating point operation float?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes. Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same material?

If there are 52 weeks in a year, how many weeks are there in a light year?

Filed Under: Good Question

World Firsts

"Stars & Stripes Weekly", the United States Armed Forces newspaper is first published.

Friday February 8, 1918

Filed Under: → War

"Monopoly" the board game goes on sale for the 1st time.

Wednesday February 6, 1935

Filed Under: → Business & Industry

The 1st wireless message sent from a moving train to a station is received.

Sunday February 7, 1915

Filed Under: → Travel Section

Events

Relatives of a 91-year-old Ohio woman who died this week are giving her the last word with a sassy, occasionally profane obituary that starts with the basics, "I was born. I lived. I died.", and instructs people to "Wait the appropriate amount of time" before trying to claim her stuff.

They wrote it in Jean Oddi's perspective, recapping the people important to her, adventures she had and her favorite activities, including playing cards and teaching her granddaughter "dirty songs".

Thursday February 23, 2017

Filed Under: → Deaths

A father and son in Alabama were killed when they crashed into each other in a head-on collision. Jeffrey Morris Brasher and his son Austin Blaine Brasher of Bankston, Alabama, died early Saturday morning.

Jeffrey Brasher was driving a 2006 Ford pickup and his son was driving a 2004 Chevrolet truck when they collided on a highway head-on, said Alabama State Trooper Jonathon Appling.

Saturday February 18, 2017

Filed Under: → Deaths

The man known as the 'Crocodile Hunter' died after his chest was punctured by a stingray barb while diving off Australia's northeast coast. The 44 year-old colourful personality was filming a documentary about the Great Barrier Reef when tragedy struck.

According to friend and colleague, John Stainton, Steve Irwin swam too close to the ray while he was diving off his boat "Croc One" near Batt Reef, northeast of Port Douglas.

Monday September 4, 2006

Filed Under: → Deaths