Yesterday was Monday March 9, 2026
EDITION #1305 This issue 5ยข
This is day 69 of 2026

Did You Know

  • A volcano has enough power to shoot ash as high as 50 km into the atmosphere.

  • Canada is an Indian word meaning Big Village.

  • During World War II, Uncle Bens was the exclusive supplier of rice to the U.S. Armed Forces.

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  • A one ounce milk chocolate bar has 6 mg of caffeine.

  • Before toilet paper was invented, French royalty wiped their bottoms with fine linen.

  • Alexander the Great and Julius Caesar were both epileptic.

Quips

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

Filed Under: Church Notices


The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.

Filed Under: Church Notices


Sign seen at a Hair Salon: We curl up and dye for you.

Filed Under: Signs


Fun Book Titles

  • My Years in a Lunatic Asylum
    - by I. M. Nutty

  • Apologizing Made Simple
    - by Thayer Thorry

  • Neck Exercises
    - by G. Rarff

  • School Meals
    - by R. E. Volting

  • How to Feed Elephants
    - by P. Nutts

View More: Book Titles

Good Question

  • You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes. Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same material?

  • Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?

  • How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

Filed Under: Good Question

World Firsts

  • Joe DiMaggio becomes the 1st $100,000 a year baseball player. He plays for the New York Yankees.

    Monday February 7, 1949

  • Filed Under: → Sports


  • New Jersey issues its 1st U.S. railroad charter. The proprietors included the famous inventor John Stevens.

    Monday February 6, 1815

  • Filed Under: → Travel Section


  • The 1st indoor 15' pole vault, completed by Cornelius Warmerdam, achieving 15 feet 3/8 inches.

    Saturday February 7, 1942

  • Filed Under: → Sports


Events

  • Relatives of a 91-year-old Ohio woman who died this week are giving her the last word with a sassy, occasionally profane obituary that starts with the basics, "I was born. I lived. I died.", and instructs people to "Wait the appropriate amount of time" before trying to claim her stuff.

    They wrote it in Jean Oddi's perspective, recapping the people important to her, adventures she had and her favorite activities, including playing cards and teaching her granddaughter "dirty songs".

    Thursday February 23, 2017

  • Filed Under: → Deaths


  • A father and son in Alabama were killed when they crashed into each other in a head-on collision. Jeffrey Morris Brasher and his son Austin Blaine Brasher of Bankston, Alabama, died early Saturday morning.

    Jeffrey Brasher was driving a 2006 Ford pickup and his son was driving a 2004 Chevrolet truck when they collided on a highway head-on, said Alabama State Trooper Jonathon Appling.

    Saturday February 18, 2017

  • Filed Under: → Deaths


  • The man known as the 'Crocodile Hunter' died after his chest was punctured by a stingray barb while diving off Australia's northeast coast. The 44 year-old colourful personality was filming a documentary about the Great Barrier Reef when tragedy struck.

    According to friend and colleague, John Stainton, Steve Irwin swam too close to the ray while he was diving off his boat "Croc One" near Batt Reef, northeast of Port Douglas.

    Monday September 4, 2006

  • Filed Under: → Deaths


  • Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.
    - African Proverb

  • When the mouth stumbles, it is worse than the foot.
    - African Proverb

  • It takes a village to raise a child.
    - African Proverb

World Firsts

  • The United States swears in its 1st female Secretary of Transportation, namely Elizabeth Dole.

    Monday February 7, 1983

  • Filed Under: → Travel Section


  • New Jersey issues its 1st U.S. railroad charter. The proprietors included the famous inventor John Stevens.

    Monday February 6, 1815

  • Filed Under: → Travel Section


  • 1st meeting of the Provisional Congress of Confederate States of America.

    Wednesday February 6, 1861

  • Filed Under: → Politics


View More: → World Firsts

Wise Words

  • If you refuse to be made straight when you are wet, you will not be made straight when you are dry.
    - African Proverb

  • Listen or thy tongue will keep thee deaf.
    - American Indian Proverb

  • When the mouth stumbles, it is worse than the foot.
    - African Proverb

Filed Under: Wise Words

Good Question

  • Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

  • Everyone wants to ride with you in the limo. How come nobody will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down?

  • You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

Filed Under: → Good Question