News Thats Used

Tuesday May 25, 2004

Even in death Irish comic genius Spike Milligan managed to have the last laugh. Two years after his death at his home in Sussex, England, the creator of "The Goon Show" has finally got the epitaph he wanted.

A headstone bearing the words "I told you I was ill" has been erected above his grave at St. Thomas's Church in Winchelsea, East Sussex. Sadly for more than two years after his death at the ...

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A one ounce milk chocolate bar has 6 mg of caffeine.

Buttermilk does not contain any butter.

Before toilet paper was invented, French royalty wiped their bottoms with fine linen.

Quips

Sign seen in a bar: "Those drinking to forget, please pay in advance."

Filed Under: Signs

Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and the deterioration of some of the older ones.

Filed Under: Church Notices

Weight Watchers will meet at 7.30 pm at the Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double doors at the side entrance.

Filed Under: Church Notices

Fun Book Titles

All Aboard!
- by Abel Seamann

My Years in a Lunatic Asylum
- by I. M. Nutty

Neck Exercises
- by G. Rarff

Peek-a-Boo!
- by I. C. Hugh

School Meals
- by R. E. Volting

View More: Book Titles

Good Question

Do steam rollers really roll steam?

If buttered toast always lands buttered side down and a cat always lands on its feet, what would happen if you tied a piece of buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped them both?

Why does an inspiring sight like a sunrise always have to take place at such an inconvenient time?

Filed Under: Good Question

World Firsts

France recognizes the United States of America and signs a treaty of aid in Paris; it's the 1st U.S. treaty.

Friday February 6, 1778

Filed Under: → War

Jean-Bertrand Aristide is sworn in as Haiti's 1st elected President.

Thursday February 7, 1991

Filed Under: → Politics

Richard Johnson is the 1st Vice President chosen by the United States Senate. It happened during the Van Buren administration.

Wednesday February 8, 1837

Filed Under: → Politics

Events

The man known as the 'Crocodile Hunter' died after his chest was punctured by a stingray barb while diving off Australia's northeast coast. The 44 year-old colourful personality was filming a documentary about the Great Barrier Reef when tragedy struck.

According to friend and colleague, John Stainton, Steve Irwin swam too close to the ray while he was diving off his boat "Croc One" near Batt Reef, northeast of Port Douglas.

Monday September 4, 2006

Filed Under: → Deaths

A father and son in Alabama were killed when they crashed into each other in a head-on collision. Jeffrey Morris Brasher and his son Austin Blaine Brasher of Bankston, Alabama, died early Saturday morning.

Jeffrey Brasher was driving a 2006 Ford pickup and his son was driving a 2004 Chevrolet truck when they collided on a highway head-on, said Alabama State Trooper Jonathon Appling.

Saturday February 18, 2017

Filed Under: → Deaths

Relatives of a 91-year-old Ohio woman who died this week are giving her the last word with a sassy, occasionally profane obituary that starts with the basics, "I was born. I lived. I died.", and instructs people to "Wait the appropriate amount of time" before trying to claim her stuff.

They wrote it in Jean Oddi's perspective, recapping the people important to her, adventures she had and her favorite activities, including playing cards and teaching her granddaughter "dirty songs".

Thursday February 23, 2017

Filed Under: → Deaths