News Thats Used

Tuesday May 25, 2004

Even in death Irish comic genius Spike Milligan managed to have the last laugh. Two years after his death at his home in Sussex, England, the creator of "The Goon Show" has finally got the epitaph he wanted.

A headstone bearing the words "I told you I was ill" has been erected above his grave at St. Thomas's Church in Winchelsea, East Sussex. Sadly for more than two years after his death at the ...

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A one ounce milk chocolate bar has 6 mg of caffeine.

During World War II, Uncle Bens was the exclusive supplier of rice to the U.S. Armed Forces.

A volcano has enough power to shoot ash as high as 50 km into the atmosphere.

Quips

The Vicar is on vacation. Massages can be given to the Church Secretary.

Filed Under: Church Notices

Sign seen in a bar: "Those drinking to forget, please pay in advance."

Filed Under: Signs

Our next song is: "Angels We Have Heard Get High."

Filed Under: Church Notices

Fun Book Titles

The Barber of Seville
- by Aaron Floor

Peek-a-Boo!
- by I. C. Hugh

My Years in a Lunatic Asylum
- by I. M. Nutty

Neck Exercises
- by G. Rarff

School Meals
- by R. E. Volting

View More: Book Titles

Good Question

Why does an inspiring sight like a sunrise always have to take place at such an inconvenient time?

Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

Do steam rollers really roll steam?

Filed Under: Good Question

World Firsts

The United States swears in its 1st female Secretary of Transportation, namely Elizabeth Dole.

Monday February 7, 1983

Filed Under: → Travel Section

Edward of Caernarion, later Edward II, becomes the 1st Prince of Wales.

Monday February 7, 1301

Filed Under: → Miscellaneous

The 1st appearance of cholera happens in Edinburgh, Scotland.

Monday February 6, 1832

Filed Under: → Medicine

Events

The man known as the 'Crocodile Hunter' died after his chest was punctured by a stingray barb while diving off Australia's northeast coast. The 44 year-old colourful personality was filming a documentary about the Great Barrier Reef when tragedy struck.

According to friend and colleague, John Stainton, Steve Irwin swam too close to the ray while he was diving off his boat "Croc One" near Batt Reef, northeast of Port Douglas.

Monday September 4, 2006

Filed Under: → Deaths

Relatives of a 91-year-old Ohio woman who died this week are giving her the last word with a sassy, occasionally profane obituary that starts with the basics, "I was born. I lived. I died.", and instructs people to "Wait the appropriate amount of time" before trying to claim her stuff.

They wrote it in Jean Oddi's perspective, recapping the people important to her, adventures she had and her favorite activities, including playing cards and teaching her granddaughter "dirty songs".

Thursday February 23, 2017

Filed Under: → Deaths

A father and son in Alabama were killed when they crashed into each other in a head-on collision. Jeffrey Morris Brasher and his son Austin Blaine Brasher of Bankston, Alabama, died early Saturday morning.

Jeffrey Brasher was driving a 2006 Ford pickup and his son was driving a 2004 Chevrolet truck when they collided on a highway head-on, said Alabama State Trooper Jonathon Appling.

Saturday February 18, 2017

Filed Under: → Deaths