News Thats Used

Monday September 15, 2003

After eating an English missionary in 1867, contrite villagers in Fiji are now eating humble pie and want to say they are sorry. Reverend Thomas Baker, from Playden, East Sussex, was cooked and eaten by the people of the remote mountain village of Navatusila.

The only thing left of Mr. Baker, a clergyman with the Wesleyan Methodist Church, were his leather boots, and they even attempted to chew ...

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All babies are color blind when they are born.

Alexander the Great and Julius Caesar were both epileptic.

Airports that are at higher altitudes require a longer airstrip due to lower air density.

Quips

Thursday night is Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

Filed Under: Church Notices

Sign seen in a bar: "Those drinking to forget, please pay in advance."

Filed Under: Signs

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Filed Under: Church Notices

Fun Book Titles

Neck Exercises
- by G. Rarff

How to Feed Elephants
- by P. Nutts

Peek-a-Boo!
- by I. C. Hugh

My Years in a Lunatic Asylum
- by I. M. Nutty

School Meals
- by R. E. Volting

View More: Book Titles

Good Question

Can you repeat the part after "Listen very carefully"?

Why do you need a drivers license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

If buttered toast always lands buttered side down and a cat always lands on its feet, what would happen if you tied a piece of buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped them both?

Filed Under: Good Question

World Firsts

France recognizes the United States of America and signs a treaty of aid in Paris; it's the 1st U.S. treaty.

Friday February 6, 1778

Filed Under: → War

New Jersey issues its 1st U.S. railroad charter. The proprietors included the famous inventor John Stevens.

Monday February 6, 1815

Filed Under: → Travel Section

Edward of Caernarion, later Edward II, becomes the 1st Prince of Wales.

Monday February 7, 1301

Filed Under: → Miscellaneous

Events

The man known as the 'Crocodile Hunter' died after his chest was punctured by a stingray barb while diving off Australia's northeast coast. The 44 year-old colourful personality was filming a documentary about the Great Barrier Reef when tragedy struck.

According to friend and colleague, John Stainton, Steve Irwin swam too close to the ray while he was diving off his boat "Croc One" near Batt Reef, northeast of Port Douglas.

Monday September 4, 2006

Filed Under: → Deaths

A father and son in Alabama were killed when they crashed into each other in a head-on collision. Jeffrey Morris Brasher and his son Austin Blaine Brasher of Bankston, Alabama, died early Saturday morning.

Jeffrey Brasher was driving a 2006 Ford pickup and his son was driving a 2004 Chevrolet truck when they collided on a highway head-on, said Alabama State Trooper Jonathon Appling.

Saturday February 18, 2017

Filed Under: → Deaths

Relatives of a 91-year-old Ohio woman who died this week are giving her the last word with a sassy, occasionally profane obituary that starts with the basics, "I was born. I lived. I died.", and instructs people to "Wait the appropriate amount of time" before trying to claim her stuff.

They wrote it in Jean Oddi's perspective, recapping the people important to her, adventures she had and her favorite activities, including playing cards and teaching her granddaughter "dirty songs".

Thursday February 23, 2017

Filed Under: → Deaths