Yesterday was Monday March 9, 2026
EDITION #1305 This issue 5ยข
This is day 69 of 2026

Did You Know

  • Alexander the Great and Julius Caesar were both epileptic.

  • Each year there are more than 40,000 toilet related injuries in the United States.

  • Before toilet paper was invented, French royalty wiped their bottoms with fine linen.

View More...
  • An earthquake on December 16, 1811 caused parts of the Mississippi River to flow backwards.

  • Buttermilk does not contain any butter.

  • Another name for a Microsoft Windows 98 tutorial was Crash Course!

Quips

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Filed Under: Church Notices


Our next song is: "Angels We Have Heard Get High."

Filed Under: Church Notices


The Vicar is on vacation. Massages can be given to the Church Secretary.

Filed Under: Church Notices


Fun Book Titles

  • My Years in a Lunatic Asylum
    - by I. M. Nutty

  • Neck Exercises
    - by G. Rarff

  • How to Feed Elephants
    - by P. Nutts

  • Peek-a-Boo!
    - by I. C. Hugh

  • Falling from a Window
    - by Eileen Dowt

View More: Book Titles

Good Question

  • Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

  • Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

  • What will fall on the lawn first? An autumn leaf or a Christmas catalogue?

Filed Under: Good Question

World Firsts

  • The United States swears in its 1st female Secretary of Transportation, namely Elizabeth Dole.

    Monday February 7, 1983

  • Filed Under: → Travel Section


  • France recognizes the United States of America and signs a treaty of aid in Paris; it's the 1st U.S. treaty.

    Friday February 6, 1778

  • Filed Under: → War


  • The 1st appearance of cholera happens in Edinburgh, Scotland.

    Monday February 6, 1832

  • Filed Under: → Medicine


Events

  • Relatives of a 91-year-old Ohio woman who died this week are giving her the last word with a sassy, occasionally profane obituary that starts with the basics, "I was born. I lived. I died.", and instructs people to "Wait the appropriate amount of time" before trying to claim her stuff.

    They wrote it in Jean Oddi's perspective, recapping the people important to her, adventures she had and her favorite activities, including playing cards and teaching her granddaughter "dirty songs".

    Thursday February 23, 2017

  • Filed Under: → Deaths


  • The man known as the 'Crocodile Hunter' died after his chest was punctured by a stingray barb while diving off Australia's northeast coast. The 44 year-old colourful personality was filming a documentary about the Great Barrier Reef when tragedy struck.

    According to friend and colleague, John Stainton, Steve Irwin swam too close to the ray while he was diving off his boat "Croc One" near Batt Reef, northeast of Port Douglas.

    Monday September 4, 2006

  • Filed Under: → Deaths


  • A father and son in Alabama were killed when they crashed into each other in a head-on collision. Jeffrey Morris Brasher and his son Austin Blaine Brasher of Bankston, Alabama, died early Saturday morning.

    Jeffrey Brasher was driving a 2006 Ford pickup and his son was driving a 2004 Chevrolet truck when they collided on a highway head-on, said Alabama State Trooper Jonathon Appling.

    Saturday February 18, 2017

  • Filed Under: → Deaths


  • Listen or thy tongue will keep thee deaf.
    - American Indian Proverb

  • When you have given nothing, ask for nothing.
    - Albanian Proverb

  • Where there is no shame, there is no honor.
    - African Proverb

World Firsts

  • 1st meeting of the Provisional Congress of Confederate States of America.

    Wednesday February 6, 1861

  • Filed Under: → Politics


  • The first storm warnings for ships was issued by English Admiral, Robert Ritzroy.

    Wednesday February 6, 1861

  • Filed Under: → Travel Section


  • The first Guernsey Cattle Club organizes in New York City.

    Wednesday February 7, 1877

  • Filed Under: → Business & Industry


View More: → World Firsts

Wise Words

  • Indecision is like a stepchild. If he does not wash his hands, he is called dirty, if he does, he is wasting water.
    - African Proverb

  • When elephants fight, it is the grass who suffers.
    - African Proverb

  • Where there is no shame, there is no honor.
    - African Proverb

Filed Under: Wise Words

Good Question

  • How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

  • If love is blind, why is Lingerie so popular?

  • If CON is the opposite of PRO, is congress the opposite of progress?

Filed Under: → Good Question