News Thats Used

Tuesday May 25, 2004

Even in death Irish comic genius Spike Milligan managed to have the last laugh. Two years after his death at his home in Sussex, England, the creator of "The Goon Show" has finally got the epitaph he wanted.

A headstone bearing the words "I told you I was ill" has been erected above his grave at St. Thomas's Church in Winchelsea, East Sussex. Sadly for more than two years after his death at the ...

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All babies are color blind when they are born.

Airports that are at higher altitudes require a longer airstrip due to lower air density.

Albert Einstein was offered the presidency of Israel in 1952, but he declined.

Quips

Our next song is: "Angels We Have Heard Get High."

Filed Under: Church Notices

The Vicar is on vacation. Massages can be given to the Church Secretary.

Filed Under: Church Notices

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

Filed Under: Church Notices

Fun Book Titles

My Years in a Lunatic Asylum
- by I. M. Nutty

Peek-a-Boo!
- by I. C. Hugh

How to Feed Elephants
- by P. Nutts

Falling from a Window
- by Eileen Dowt

Neck Exercises
- by G. Rarff

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Good Question

Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

If there are 52 weeks in a year, how many weeks are there in a light year?

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World Firsts

The 1st indoor 15' pole vault, completed by Cornelius Warmerdam, achieving 15 feet 3/8 inches.

Saturday February 7, 1942

Filed Under: → Sports

"Stars & Stripes Weekly", the United States Armed Forces newspaper is first published.

Friday February 8, 1918

Filed Under: → War

The United States swears in its 1st female Secretary of Transportation, namely Elizabeth Dole.

Monday February 7, 1983

Filed Under: → Travel Section

Events

The man known as the 'Crocodile Hunter' died after his chest was punctured by a stingray barb while diving off Australia's northeast coast. The 44 year-old colourful personality was filming a documentary about the Great Barrier Reef when tragedy struck.

According to friend and colleague, John Stainton, Steve Irwin swam too close to the ray while he was diving off his boat "Croc One" near Batt Reef, northeast of Port Douglas.

Monday September 4, 2006

Filed Under: → Deaths

Relatives of a 91-year-old Ohio woman who died this week are giving her the last word with a sassy, occasionally profane obituary that starts with the basics, "I was born. I lived. I died.", and instructs people to "Wait the appropriate amount of time" before trying to claim her stuff.

They wrote it in Jean Oddi's perspective, recapping the people important to her, adventures she had and her favorite activities, including playing cards and teaching her granddaughter "dirty songs".

Thursday February 23, 2017

Filed Under: → Deaths

A father and son in Alabama were killed when they crashed into each other in a head-on collision. Jeffrey Morris Brasher and his son Austin Blaine Brasher of Bankston, Alabama, died early Saturday morning.

Jeffrey Brasher was driving a 2006 Ford pickup and his son was driving a 2004 Chevrolet truck when they collided on a highway head-on, said Alabama State Trooper Jonathon Appling.

Saturday February 18, 2017

Filed Under: → Deaths

Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.
- African Proverb

It takes a village to raise a child.
- African Proverb

Indecision is like a stepchild. If he does not wash his hands, he is called dirty, if he does, he is wasting water.
- African Proverb

New Used News

25,000 Workers Died Building The Panama Canal
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The Most Expensive Domain Name
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Microsoft Windows 98
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Backward Flowing River
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World Firsts

The 1st indoor 15' pole vault, completed by Cornelius Warmerdam, achieving 15 feet 3/8 inches.

Saturday February 7, 1942

Filed Under: → Sports

The first Guernsey Cattle Club organizes in New York City.

Wednesday February 7, 1877

Filed Under: → Business & Industry

Richard Johnson is the 1st Vice President chosen by the United States Senate. It happened during the Van Buren administration.

Wednesday February 8, 1837

Filed Under: → Politics

View More: → World Firsts

Wise Words

When the mouth stumbles, it is worse than the foot.
- African Proverb

It takes a village to raise a child.
- African Proverb

If you refuse to be made straight when you are wet, you will not be made straight when you are dry.
- African Proverb

Filed Under: Wise Words

Good Question

Everyone wants to ride with you in the limo. How come nobody will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down?

Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

If love is blind, why is Lingerie so popular?

Filed Under: → Good Question

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Spike Milligan Has The Last Laugh

Did You Know

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Fun Book Titles

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World Firsts

Events

Wise Words

New Used News

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World Firsts

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